suffering

Acknowledge the hurt is real so that you can heal

The first step in healing is acknowledging that, in fact, we have been wronged. That the hurt is real. That a debt is owed. That we are in pain. That an injustice has been done. But this is only the first step. 

If we are to heal, we must then be willing, through the grace of the Holy Spirit, to free the person who wronged us from their debt for the sake of our own soul. For the sake of our own peace. For the sake of our own joy. For the sake of those we love and serve. 

We cannot do this alone. Only God can transform this pain, this very real and justified pain, into healing, but we must be willing to sacrifice our suffering, our pride, and our resentment, at the altar of His love. We must be willing to let go of this debt we are owed, to release it, to release our debtor into God’s hands. 

Justice will be done, but it is not ours to do. We will all pay the price for our part in things when we someday face Him. But for now, we are called to let our debtors go, to heal, and to move on with the help of God and community, and with the love that can transform all pain and all suffering into purpose. 

Robert Van Valkenburgh
Grappling With Divinity

To read my poetry and shorter writing, please visit Meditations of a Gentle Warrior and subscribe to receive my daily meditations in your inbox. 

God allows us time to feel sorry for ourselves

When we are feeling hurt, betrayed, or disappointed, God allows us time to feel sorry for ourselves. Understanding that we are human and need time to process our feelings, he will give us space and let us live in our pain for a while if we so desire. Especially when we have been wronged by someone we care about, he lets us work through our emotions, even if it means wallowing in self pity and grief. Eventually, however, God expects us to get over ourselves and move on. 

We can’t live in our anger and depression forever, at least not if we intend to live for and with God. God does not like rivals and self pity is a major rival to the Lord. If we allow it to stay longer than its welcome, self pity becomes a sort of false idol for us. In fact, it’s really just a way of worshipping our own shortsighted desires and feelings. 

When things don’t work out the way we want or expect them to, it’s okay to be hurt, disappointed, and even angry, but ultimately, what we are saying to God is that we think we know what is best for us better than he does. Feeling sorry for ourselves means that we want something other than what God has given us. Self pity, at its core, is really just a lack of faith. 

But as much as God is a jealous God who does not tolerate rivals for his attention, he is also an understanding God who is loving and patient enough to allow us the time we need to come back around to him. If we choose not to, if we choose to live outside of his grace, we are headed for a life of suffering. But if we turn away from our self pity and turn toward the Father of Light, he will always be there to embrace us into his loving arms and guide us through our pain. 

Robert Van Valkenburgh
Grappling With Divinity

To read my poetry and shorter writing, please visit Meditations of a Gentle Warrior and subscribe to receive my daily meditations in your inbox. 

Floating, falling, or being carried

My spiritual journey, that is to say my life’s journey, has been anything but smooth sailing in a straight line. From what I’ve gathered from the other people I’ve known, spoken with, and traveled with along the way, I am not alone in this. In fact, one of the main themes in the Bible is that the spiritual life is not an easy life. The alternative, however, is much more difficult. 

From Adam and Eve to Abraham, from Moses to David, and even Jesus himself, with all of God’s people and prophets in between, no one had a life without challenges. It could even be said that to be a follower of God is to live a life of sacrifice and suffering. This is also true for those who do not follow God, but the things sacrificed and the reason for suffering are different. This difference, it seems, is really the point. 

God does not ask those who follow him to sacrifice meaninglessly. Nor does he make his people suffer without purpose. He promises us that, as long as we act faithfully, our pain, grief, and confusion will all have been for something. It will all for us, not against us. 

It’s not always easy to see this when we are in the middle of it. No one enjoys suffering, not even Jesus. But with him as our example, as our king, our friend, and our savior, we are given hope. We are told not to worry, not to fear, and to trust that God loves us. In fact, we are told that God is love and that we, like Jesus, are his beloved children. 

Sometimes the spiritual journey feels like floating. Other times, it feels like falling. When we look back, I suspect, it will feel more like we were being carried, and being carried might explain the feelings of floating and falling we experience along the way. 

Robert Van Valkenburgh
Grappling With Divinity

To read my poetry and shorter writing, please visit Meditations of a Gentle Warrior and subscribe to receive my daily meditations in your inbox.