When we are feeling hurt, betrayed, or disappointed, God allows us time to feel sorry for ourselves. Understanding that we are human and need time to process our feelings, he will give us space and let us live in our pain for a while if we so desire. Especially when we have been wronged by someone we care about, he lets us work through our emotions, even if it means wallowing in self pity and grief. Eventually, however, God expects us to get over ourselves and move on. 

We can’t live in our anger and depression forever, at least not if we intend to live for and with God. God does not like rivals and self pity is a major rival to the Lord. If we allow it to stay longer than its welcome, self pity becomes a sort of false idol for us. In fact, it’s really just a way of worshipping our own shortsighted desires and feelings. 

When things don’t work out the way we want or expect them to, it’s okay to be hurt, disappointed, and even angry, but ultimately, what we are saying to God is that we think we know what is best for us better than he does. Feeling sorry for ourselves means that we want something other than what God has given us. Self pity, at its core, is really just a lack of faith. 

But as much as God is a jealous God who does not tolerate rivals for his attention, he is also an understanding God who is loving and patient enough to allow us the time we need to come back around to him. If we choose not to, if we choose to live outside of his grace, we are headed for a life of suffering. But if we turn away from our self pity and turn toward the Father of Light, he will always be there to embrace us into his loving arms and guide us through our pain. 

Robert Van Valkenburgh
Grappling With Divinity

To read my poetry and shorter writing, please visit Meditations of a Gentle Warrior and subscribe to receive my daily meditations in your inbox.