martial art

If you aren’t having fun you’re doing it wrong

If you aren’t having fun, you’re doing it wrong. From self defense to sport, there are many different reasons to practice jiu-jitsu. Training can and should be very serious at times.

Violence and power are serious subjects after all, and the martial arts are, at the end of the day, the study of violence and power. But it’s not all serious.

Through the practice, we develop a camaraderie and light-heartedness in spite of all of the pain, suffering, and difficulty we put ourselves through in the pursuit of whatever intangible goal we may have.

Through the losses, the frustration, and the injuries, we make friends we otherwise would not have made. With these friends, we joke, we laugh, and we find reprieve from the outside world, even if only for an hour or so a day.

Most of us are not practicing jiu-jitsu for life and death, after all. We practice because we enjoy it.

We practice because it makes our lives better. We practice because it’s fun.

I might have never started jiu-jitsu

I might have never started jiu-jitsu if it weren’t for my little brother. In fact, I had never even heard of Brazilian jiu-jitsu until he told me that he was doing it and asked if I wanted to go to a tournament he was competing at.

In spite of having practiced traditional Korean hapkido for many years, it was the first tournament of any kind I had ever been to. It made an impression on me, not all good, but not all bad either. I loved watching Matt compete and I loved being there to cheer him on (I was the idiot yelling “Hold on!” to something that probably should have been let go of), but the idea of competition was so far outside of my comfort zone that I didn’t quite know what to make of it.

Fast forward a couple of years and I earned my black belt in hapkido while Matt was in Korea. He and I would email back and forth and, somewhere along the way, I decided I wanted to learn how to grapple, mainly to get out of my comfort zone and primarily for the sparring. I asked him if he could recommend any BJJ academies near me. He pointed me to a Pedro Sauer affiliate near my house and, after much procrastination, I went to a class.

It was so foreign, so difficult, and so humbling that I went back again, and again, and again, determined to master this thing. After my hapkido teacher passed away, I made the difficult decision to resign from hapkido and to focus on jiu-jitsu and my other holistic practices.

It’s often easiest to forget those closest to us, especially when you are as self-centered as me, but, whether he knows it or not, I owe a lot of where I am right now to my brother because, if he never invited me to watch him compete, I might have never started jiu-jitsu.

On Martial Arts – Jiu-Jitsu

The following is a resharing of the webpage copy about my martial art journey that led me to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and Kogen Dojo

The martial arts have always been more than a physical practice for self defense or sport for me. They are a spiritual, philosophical, and moral path. It is not that the martial arts are particularly special in this way. There are many paths that are as, or more, well suited for personal development as the martial arts. Ultimately, one gets out of a practice what he or she puts into it. This is simply the path I have chosen, or that was chosen for me. 

I began practicing martial arts as a way to resolve the conflict that exists inside me, with the hope that this would also help me resolve conflict with others. What I found was this and much more. 

Martial arts have given me not only a physical and mental operating system for problem solving and conflict resolution, but also a community, a sense of purpose and belonging, and a means of expressing myself creatively. 

Additionally, the martial arts have reignited my passion for learning and for the arts in general, something I somehow lost on the way to adulthood. Finally, through martial arts I have discovered that I love teaching, sharing the knowledge and skills that have been shared with me, and using my experience to help others discover their personal power and confidence. 

All of this to say, the martial arts have given me a lot. It is a debt I can never repay. I have had amazing teachers, training partners, and mentors. I can only hope to be the same for others, something I try to do through Kogen Dojo in Severna Park and Annapolis, MD where I teach and train Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I hope to see you on the mats someday. 

Robert Van Valkenburgh