humility

No one is above God and no one is beneath us

I’ve been reminded a lot lately of why we cannot rely on human power where only God’s power will do. Making false idols out of people doesn’t work. We are imperfect, broken creatures in need of salvation. Not one of us is beyond error or shortcomings. No matter how hard we try, we are destined to let one another down, to disappoint each other and to break one another’s hearts. If we don’t, it is purely by the grace of God. 

It is no wonder, when asked what the greatest commandment was, Jesus replied, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments (Matthew 22:37-40, NIV).” 

The first commandment, to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” tells us to place all of our trust in God, to have no other Gods before him, and to always put God first, even above and ahead of our loved ones. It tells us not to make false idols out of other people. If we do, not only are we betraying God’s commandment, but we are also putting unreasonable expectations on others and setting ourselves up for disappointment. 

The second of Jesus’s greatest commandments, to “Love your neighbor as yourself” teaches us not to look down on others, to not hold ourselves up as false idols above them, and to treat them as God has treated us, with love, fairness, and mercy. This commandment to love our neighbors as we are demands that we treat our fellows as peers, as brothers and sisters, and that we never treat anyone like they are unredeemable or unforgivable because, through Christ Jesus, everyone has been forgiven and everyone is eligible for redemption if they so desire. 

These two commandments, given to us from our Lord and Savior, are in part about humility. They help us to remain right-sized in relation to God and our fellows. The first tells us not to look up to anyone in the way that we look up to God, and the second tells us not to look down on anyone as if we are God. No one is above God and no one is beneath us. We are all equal in the eyes of the Lord (Romans 2:11).

Robert Van Valkenburgh
Grappling With Divinity

To read my poetry and shorter writing, please visit Meditations of a Gentle Warrior and subscribe to receive my daily meditations in your inbox. 

Chili humility

Recently, my wife took her parents to the Cambodian Buddhist Temple for a fundraiser. At the event, local Cambodian and Thai food vendors set up to raise money to donate to the temple through food sales. My wife came back with some of my favorite foods, including green papaya salad, chicken wings stuffed with Cambodian herbs, spices, and chopped peanuts, and fried bananas, which I really appreciated after a long day running and participating in a jiu-jitsu scrimmage for grapplers over forty. 

My mother-in-law brought home some produce, including a small, green bitter eggplant (turkey berry) that is used in a variety of Cambodian and Thai dishes, but she specifically uses it in one of my favorite Cambodian dishes, prahok ling. Prahok ling is essentially ground pork, fermented fish paste (prahok), herbs and spices (kaffir lime leaf, lemongrass, turmeric, etc), bird’s eye chilis, and turkey berries all stir-fried together. 

The dish is served with jasmine rice, raw vegetables such as cabbage, carrots, and green beans, and lime wedges. The prahok ling is either eaten over the rice with the veggies as an accompaniment, or the veggies are used to scoop up the prahok ling and it is all eaten together. The lime is there in case someone wants to add some acid to the dish, which I always do because I like the salty, spicy, bitter, and sour combination. 

Before we started eating, my mother-in-law warned me that there were whole bird’s eye chilis in the dish. At first, I ate around them, but then I got brave and I took a bite with a piece of chili in it. It was delicious and not too spicy. I finished what I had with the remainder of the chili and I decided to have some more. 

This time, bravery turning into arrogance, I took a couple of chilis into my bowl. I chopped the chilis up with my spoon, mixed them around in the prahok ling, squeezed some lime on it, and started eating. After my first couple of bites, I realized that something was very different. These chilis were not like the last one. My mouth was on fire and I could feel my belly starting to get warm. 

I told wife that I think I made a mistake and everyone started laughing. They know, and I know but had forgotten in a state of prideful ignorance and hunger, that not all bird’s eye chilis are created equal. Even in the same batch, they can range from a pleasant, fruity heat to regretfully spicy. I had just eaten the spectrum and now I needed to reevaluate my situation. 

Humbled and happy to give everyone a reason to laugh, I began separating the chilis from the rest of my food and enjoyed the remainder of my meal. It was not only delicious, but it was also very nice to have a sit-down, home-cooked meal with my wife, daughter, and in-laws. These occasions used to be an everyday occurrence for us because we all lived together for many years, but now that we live apart, it is more rare, and so we appreciate it when it happens. A temporarily burnt mouth and bruised ego are a small price to pay for delicious food and good company. 

Growing feet

Did you know that your feet can get bigger as an adult? I had no idea. I assumed that, once I reached a certain age, my shoe size was fixed. Apparently, I was wrong.

For years, I wore size 12 shoes. It didn’t matter what brand or style, size 12 fit me. Then, one day, certain shoes, shoes I had been wearing for a long time, started to feel snug and uncomfortable around my toes, so I had to switch brands.

A few years later, I began noticing that all of my sneakers were becoming increasingly uncomfortable. This caused me to buy my first pair of wide running shoes. That helped for a while, but not for long. So I decided to try a different size shoe. I got a pair of size 13’s and, lo and behold, they fit me.

Many size 13 shoes later and I began having the same problem. Frustrated, I went to get my feet measured at the local running store. The gentleman helping me told me that he wasn’t surprised that my shoes were uncomfortable because they were 13’s and my feet were a half size bigger than that.

In spite of my beliefs, over the past two decades my feet have grown a full size and a half. I attribute it to the amount of time I spend barefoot on the soft jiu-jitsu mats, but it doesn’t really matter why my feet have gotten bigger.

What matters is the fact that my beliefs and my inability to see past them have caused me years worth of unnecessary pain and discomfort, the solution to which was merely asking for help and accepting that I was wrong.

How are your beliefs keeping you unnecessarily uncomfortable?