blog

I don’t believe in writer’s block

…and then I had nothing to say. 

I’ve been writing my daily blog at Holistic Budo for a really long time. It has changed over the years and the most recent iteration is what I would call ‘divine poetry.’ As part of my morning prayer hour, I write a poem-like prayer based on whatever inspiration comes to me at that time. 

Most of the time, it feels effortless. The words just come. Some days, I will write several poems and since I only post one a day, that means I have a large amount of unpublished work sitting in a folder. 

For the last few days, however, something feels different. The words simply aren’t there and neither is the desire. It feels like I have nothing left to say on that platform, but I’m not sure why or what to do about it. 

I’ve been so committed to putting out daily posts for so long that it feels wrong to stop, but I have nothing to say. While this may just be a phase, I also acknowledge that everything changes, especially me. I’m not the same person I was when I started the blog. I’m not even the same person I was at this time last year and my writing reflects that. 

Maybe I’m entering a new season in my life. This could be the proverbial door closing so that another door can open. Or maybe I just have writer’s block, although I don’t really believe in writer’s block, and clearly I’m writing because, well, I’m writing. I’m just not writing there. 

Time to pray…

Robert Van Valkenburgh
Grappling With Divinity

To read my poetry and shorter writing, please visit Meditations of a Gentle Warrior and subscribe to receive my daily meditations in your inbox. 

Evolution of a blog pt. 1

Every day, for quite some time now, I have been writing and publishing a short blog post for my Meditations of a Gentle Warrior blog. I’ve been doing this for several years and, other than missing a day or two here and there, and a couple of longer periods where I thought I had quit altogether, I have been faithful to this practice. I honestly can’t even remember how or why I started, but I do know that I got the idea of posting daily from listing to an interview with Seth Godin who has been writing and publishing a daily blog post for well over a decade.

My blog didn’t start out as what it is now. In fact, if I remember correctly, I was posting on an entirely different site than the one I’ve been using for the last few years. The name has also changed over time. At first, I don’t think it had a name. Then, it became Holistic Budo. 

Sometime before my first martial art teacher, Joe Sheya, passed away, I had started doing a form of qigong, a mind-and-body movement practice for developing so-called internal strength, to supplement my hapkido and Brazilian jiu-jitsu practices. Upon hearing that I was studying qigong, Joe said to me, “That’s good, but don’t make the mistake I made by thinking your qigong practice is separate from your martial art practice. Find a way to integrate them.” 

The name Holistic Budo was meant to embody this idea of the integration of the holistic arts with the martial arts, with budo being the Japanese word for ‘martial arts.’ I thought that I would use my blog to document my journey through the arts, but art tends to have a mind of its own and the idea we start with is not always the art we end up with. In spite of my intentions, Holistic Budo evolved into my writing short philosophical posts wherein I shared experience, wisdom, or advice for living a better life. 

Sometimes I wrote about something I had experienced throughout the day. Sometimes I was writing to myself, basically giving myself advice for how I could have handled a situation or experience better. Other times, I imagined that I was leaving a trail of literary breadcrumbs for my daughter should she need it someday if I were no longer here to talk to. Eventually, wanting a name that better reflected what the blog had become, I changed the name to what it is now, Meditations of a Gentle Warrior. 

Robert Van Valkenburgh
Grappling With Divinity

To read my poetry and shorter writing, please visit Meditations of a Gentle Warrior and subscribe to receive my daily meditations in your inbox. 

On Writing – Holistic Budo

The following is a resharing of the webpage copy about my other blog ‘Holistic Budo: The Way of the Gentle Warrior’

Holistic Budo originally started as an attempt to tell stories about my martial art journey and how it has shaped and informed the person I am today. Hence, the name Holistic (the interconnectedness of things) Budo (martial arts), or how my whole life and person has been positively affected and influenced by my martial art practice. 

As the years progressed, however, I began to understand that the lessons learned in martial arts and the lessons learned in life are not separate. In this way, the concept of Holistic Budo became a self-fulfilling truth. This led to the tagline: As in life, so too in budo. As in budo, so too in life. 

Many blog posts later, Holistic Budo is now a sort of personal, daily meditation wherein I write advice on how to live a more open-hearted, compassionate, and creative life. This advice is mostly written to myself, as I need it as much as anyone, but it is also written to my daughter’s future self in the event that I am no longer around to guide her directly. As long as my writing exists, she will have a way to look to me for guidance should she so desire. 

You can read Holistic Budo HERE. If you find value in my writing, please leave a comment letting me know what you think or what your personal experience is with the topic of a given post. I write for myself, but I share my writing so that others may benefit from it as well. It is good to know that what I am putting into the world is making a connection and that I am not alone. 

Robert Van Valkenburgh

Journey of Imperfection

One of the most difficult things about writing is knowing where to start. A blog is no different. 

As creatives, we tend to have high standards for ourselves and for the work that we share with the world. We want our art to be perfect before we put it out there for others to interact with. 

The truth is, however, perfect does not exist. Perfect is a lie we tell ourselves in order to hide. It is a shield we use to cover up our vulnerabilities in an attempt to keep them hidden away from the world. 

But the best art is fueled by vulnerability. It is formed from the broken pieces. It is shaped by the hurt, the pain, and the confusion of being a sensitive human in an often insensitive world. 

This is not to say that art is sad. On the contrary, art is hopeful, uplifting, and inspiring. Art is transformative. It connects us soul-to-soul and tells us that we are not alone. 

And in that spirit, I write my first blog post.* My goal with this blog is to embrace both my imperfection and the imperfection of the world around me, and to simply write. 

Unlike my other projects which have specific external focuses (foci?), each representing a different part of who I am, this blog and this site is just about me. I will use it to tell stories, share my ideas and opinions, and to wax philosophical as whim dictates. 

My main goal here is to follow my muse wherever she leads and to share what I find with anyone who is willing to join me on this journey of imperfection. I am not asking permission, I have no one to answer to besides my own conscience, and there are no rules other than that I remain true to that which calls to me. 

And so I will write… 

Regards,

Robert Van Valkenburgh

*I have been posting to my other blog, Holistic Budo, for several years, but this site serves a different purpose for me than Holistic Budo has. While Holistic Budo is largely advice written to myself, my writing here will be largely about myself, my experiences, and my observations.